Wednesday, September 12, 2007

World Championship predictions

BIGGEST WHINGER - Boris Gelfand

WHINGER MOST LIKELY TO BE SYMPATHETICALLY INTERVIEWED ON CHESSBASE - Boris Gelfand

LOUDEST MOUTHS ON COMMENTARY - Yasser Seirawan, Nigel Short

INDIVIDUALS MOST LIKELY TO DEPLORE CONSTANT CHANGES IN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP CYCLE - Garry Kasparov, Nigel Short

PHRASE MOST LIKELY TO BE SPOKEN BY YOUR WORKMATES - "is Kasparov still the champion?" (Or "is Bobby Fischer still playing?")

MEDIA OUTLETS UNLIKELY TO COVER TOURNAMENT UNTIL LAST DAY - BBC Online, British television news

MEDIA OUTLETS LIKELY TO PROVIDE EXTENSIVE COVERAGE - most major European newspapers

PEOPLE LIKELY TO BE BLAMED FOR THIS ON INTERNET - English Chess Federation

SUBJECT OF LARGEST NUMBER OF GAGS INACCURATELY CONSIDERED ORIGINAL AND FUNNY BY THEIR AUTHORS - toilet visits of Kramnik and other players

NORMAL TIME FOR LIVE GAMES TO BECOME UNAVAILABLE ON INTERNET DUE TO SERVER OVERLOAD - ten minutes before time control

MOST TIRESOME FEATURE OF CHAT ROOMS - people telling you that their computer says Aronian has an advantage of 0.17 as if it meant something

OPENING VARIATION LEAST LIKELY TO BE ON DISPLAY - Haldane Hack

MOST POPULAR WINNER IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT - Alexander Morozevich

MOST UNPOPULAR WINNER IN THE NOT UNLIKELY EVENT - Peter Leko

PLAYER PRESENT WRITER INCLINED TO SUPPORT ANYWAY - Peter Leko

COMPULSORY SUBJECTS IN ALL PROFILES OF PETER SVIDLER - cricket, Bob Dylan

AVERAGE CHESS WRITER'S KNOWLEDGE OF CRICKET, BOB DYLAN - absolutely stuff all

PRESENT WRITER'S KNOWLEDGE OF CRICKET, BOB DYLAN - rather greater than stuff all

CHANCE OF PRESENT WRITER WATCHING CLIMAX TO GAMES, GIVEN TIME DIFFERENCE - absolutely stuff all

CHANCE OF PRESENT WRITER LIGHTENING UP AND ADOPTING MORE CHEERFUL ATTITUDE TO LIFE IN GENERAL - absolutely stuff all. What do you think attracts me to chess?

11 comments:

Tom Chivers said...

Peter Leko!?

ejh said...

I like the way he draws.

Nemesis said...

Veselin Topalov?

Anonymous said...

I take it you're at least an hour ahead of the UK, Justin... What are the time limits (I couldn't see them stated on the website)?

Angus.

Tom Chivers said...

Any prediction on the gender ratio in chessbase's photographic reports?

ejh said...

Time limits - I don't know, actually. But yeah, we're an hour aheaqd of you here despite mostly being to your West.

Jonathan B said...

Justin,

I wonder if you considered the Speedy Malc technique of not publishing your predictions until after the event has finished.

In any event,

I've no real clue who's going to win and to be honest I don't much care.

If pressed I'd go for Anand or Kramnik.

Anonymous said...

When you said Nigel Short loudmouth you missed out ( and pig ignorant )
Details on request.
David Bentley

ejh said...

Do proceed....

ejh said...

Nemesis - yes, the website listed him - and now doesn't. I thought he'd ben included. What happened?

Blue Devil Knight said...

Most likely to change the rules, allowing Topalov to enter mid-tournament, just "to add commercial viability to the game": Kirsan Ilyumzhinov

Great list. I'm guilty of some of the stupid jokes, and at work the few who know about the tournament ask me if anyone will be able to beat Kasparov.