Sorry about that. You probably didn't want to see that. You probably didn't want to see this either.
Yes, it's pathological liar and professional self-publicist CJ de Mooi, in confessional mode just in time for his autobiography to come out.
When I say "confessional mode" the confession is that he killed a man, about which I'd be more concerned if I didn't think the man involved was fictional. But still, by his own account, what does that make CJ?
Well, CJ, how we haven't missed him since the days when (as Leon Watson reminds us) he was our leader
a term of office to which the terms "integrity", "honesty" and "financial probity" are not generally attached. Not to mention the chaos that ensued in Sheffield
at which point we had a golden opportunity to get rid of the malicious incompetent clown
which we passed up
because when you have somebody in post who insults and defames other officials, engages in conspiracies to deceive the members and distributes large sums of money without proper documentation, the really important thing is to keep him in place.
Still, Nigel Short admired him and that's got to count for something. Unlike the money we dobbed him for his notorious trip to Turkey.
At least the lying bastard jumped ship in the end, at which point, unless my memory is at fault, a grand total of no people whatsoever admitted that they had acted unwisely in believing him, letting him behave as he did, covering up for him or rejecting his resignation.
Anyway because there is no end to the number of gullible halfwits in the world the Mirror has put CJ on not one front page in the last few days but two
and I am sure everybody who remembers the Sheffield fiasco will have raised their eyebrows at this one. (Actual story: bloke not invited to be contestant on programme sets out his terms for appearing.) Whether it is the Mirror who are the gullible halfwits here, or that they think their readers are, who knows - but since we mention the subject, what of Sheffield? What does CJ's important new work say about that particular controversy?
Alas, according to Amazon's Look Inside function - you didn't think I was going to buy the thing, did you? - there are but two mentions of the Steel City, neither of them having any relation to T-shirts
But no. We must satisfy ourselves with the knowledge that he taught Jeremy Vine how to play.
Turkey, in the meantime, scores no mentions at all.
Nor does Keene. Nor Nigel.
It's a shame CJ can't remember old friends, especially when he can remember things that probably never happened, but still, is he really any more amnesiac than, say, ECF officials who forgot to tell us all about the CAS scam to which CJ was key?
I don't suppose he is. And I don't suppose the advance for his autobiography is sufficient for him to pay back the money he was allowed to rip off at the end.
A liar, a cheat and a self-confessed, albeit probably fictional, killer. We can't half pick 'em, can't we?