This is the second episode of our Knightmare! series, in which we celebrate the magazine produced by the young turks of Streatham and Brixton CC for three issues in the late 1970s. The first episode explained that Knightmare! was a product of a golden ten-year period in the club's fortunes - the like of which, to be frank, we have not seen since. After having set the scene, the series now moves on to some Knightmare!ish articles about more or less serious chess, and other things besides.
Rather than straightaway jump in at the deep end, we will take it gently in this episode; but that's not to say we will be safe in the shallows. Today we look at two articles that verge on the hallucinogenic. They were in typical Knightmare!-style demonstrating that, unlike your average chess mag, it would do anything for a laugh.
We begin with a piece by sometime club president Steve White: "The Wonderland of Chess" (from issue No.3) in which he reveals his taste for something a little bit Volga, as well as a deeply impressive knowledge of literature usually thought more suitable for children. His commentates on one of his own games and endeavours to demonstrate that chess and nonsense may occasionally cosy up and embrace in mutual satisfaction. Steve was for a long time a stalwart of the Club, and was last heard of emigrating to foreign parts. But it was not for this Knightmare! piece that he felt it wise to leave the country. He departed much later, in the 1990s, to follow his engineering career, and last had an ECF grade ("inactive") in 1996 of 143 (in old money) - though previous to that he may well have been stronger.
His article is the provocation for the strap-line to today's post. "Alice in Blunderland" has a decent pedigree in chess scribbling, but also has a worthy antecedent elsewhere as the title of track 5 of Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band's album, The Spotlight Kid, issued in 1972, which could have been the mood music for Knightmare! To conjure up the atmosphere of those heady days in the 70s we suggest you try it at maximum volume.
Rather than straightaway jump in at the deep end, we will take it gently in this episode; but that's not to say we will be safe in the shallows. Today we look at two articles that verge on the hallucinogenic. They were in typical Knightmare!-style demonstrating that, unlike your average chess mag, it would do anything for a laugh.
We begin with a piece by sometime club president Steve White: "The Wonderland of Chess" (from issue No.3) in which he reveals his taste for something a little bit Volga, as well as a deeply impressive knowledge of literature usually thought more suitable for children. His commentates on one of his own games and endeavours to demonstrate that chess and nonsense may occasionally cosy up and embrace in mutual satisfaction. Steve was for a long time a stalwart of the Club, and was last heard of emigrating to foreign parts. But it was not for this Knightmare! piece that he felt it wise to leave the country. He departed much later, in the 1990s, to follow his engineering career, and last had an ECF grade ("inactive") in 1996 of 143 (in old money) - though previous to that he may well have been stronger.
His article is the provocation for the strap-line to today's post. "Alice in Blunderland" has a decent pedigree in chess scribbling, but also has a worthy antecedent elsewhere as the title of track 5 of Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band's album, The Spotlight Kid, issued in 1972, which could have been the mood music for Knightmare! To conjure up the atmosphere of those heady days in the 70s we suggest you try it at maximum volume.
Now at full blast? Then we give you the introductory paragraphs to Steve's piece - reproduced in facsimile as seen in Knightmare! If it appears a bit fuzzy and rough around the edges do not adjust your set; it's the Captain Beefheart effect.
Now we continue the article in transcription, and in true looking-glass fashion White is Black.
Careering on, we reproduce, after the break, another classic of absurdist annotation by Steve's Volga henchman and fellow Knightmare!ista Ken Coates. Steve and Ken shared a flat at the time a few doors down from Madame "I'll take luncheon vouchers" Cyn, although they were, Ken assures us, too chess-fixated to notice. Ken, by the way, can now be found ploughing his furrow with Crowthorne Chess Club in Berkshire, and with BCM Dragons in the 4NCL.
Thirty-five years down the track Ken recollects that in his misspent youth at the chess board he...
...and there now follows a transcription of Ken's article, except that we have added diagrams. So, instead of wrestling with those impossible bits of card (no modern household has such things), plastic-wrapped junk mail (uncommon in 1978, and too slippy even today), or the cat (plastic-wrapped or not), to hide, then reveal, the upcoming move, simply scroll on to find the best bad option. "And no peeping" - as Shaun Taulbut put it in December 2012 in the BCM's "Test Your Chess" - as if you would. Over at Chess it is Danny King who does the honours with "How Good is Your Chess?" for he it was who honed his skills in the Knightmare! squads of S&BCC in the 70s. Danny, in his version, suggests that you may, if you prefer, ignore the guess-the-move business and "just enjoy a fine game". By contrast, in Ken's "How Bad..." variant you can just wince at a dodgy one. Incidentally, guess-the-move junkies will know that Chris Baker was doing "Bad" stuff in Chess back around 2000, but it looks like Ken was there first...
...So, take it away again, Ken, for thirty-two moves of madness (note that this is played from Black's point of view - but that your blogger failed to reverse the algebraic co-ordinates around the edge of the board; apologies, but it adds to the general mayhem - anyway, in the end it doesn't matter, as you will see).
Thirty-five years down the track Ken recollects that in his misspent youth at the chess board he...
"...increasingly chose moves and lines most unwise, involved significant risk or could be simply branded reckless...common practice in the S&B B team for which I played. Team match orders often involve the directive like 'everybody must gambit at least a pawn in the opening' for example. I remember Mike Singleton being subsequently dropped for the next match for not following orders...
"1. f3...was popular with Andrew Martin, Julian Hodgson's Grand Prix attack with a quick f5...were common place. Robin Haldane had a 'gambit-for-all-seasons' style...it was while being part of the B team and being forced to watch these games that an idea started to form...I annotated and submitted the "tongue in cheek" article which was foolishly accepted by the Editor..."...and then appeared in issue No. 2 of Knightmare! in 1978. Once again we give a facsimile of the opening paragraph, which also has a disturbingly resonant ring to it...
...and there now follows a transcription of Ken's article, except that we have added diagrams. So, instead of wrestling with those impossible bits of card (no modern household has such things), plastic-wrapped junk mail (uncommon in 1978, and too slippy even today), or the cat (plastic-wrapped or not), to hide, then reveal, the upcoming move, simply scroll on to find the best bad option. "And no peeping" - as Shaun Taulbut put it in December 2012 in the BCM's "Test Your Chess" - as if you would. Over at Chess it is Danny King who does the honours with "How Good is Your Chess?" for he it was who honed his skills in the Knightmare! squads of S&BCC in the 70s. Danny, in his version, suggests that you may, if you prefer, ignore the guess-the-move business and "just enjoy a fine game". By contrast, in Ken's "How Bad..." variant you can just wince at a dodgy one. Incidentally, guess-the-move junkies will know that Chris Baker was doing "Bad" stuff in Chess back around 2000, but it looks like Ken was there first...
...So, take it away again, Ken, for thirty-two moves of madness (note that this is played from Black's point of view - but that your blogger failed to reverse the algebraic co-ordinates around the edge of the board; apologies, but it adds to the general mayhem - anyway, in the end it doesn't matter, as you will see).
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| 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 (Start guessing Black's moves from now on) |
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Health and Safety Notice: Guess the move coming up!
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2...f5! 5 points. Ensuring Black a lasting disadvantage from the opening. 3 points for 2...f6 which has similar ideas to the game. 0 points for 2...Nc6 unless you intended to capitalise on White's correct play by 3. Bb5 Bc5 4. c3 f5! If so, 2 points. |
| 3.exf |
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Guess the move coming up!
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3...e4 1 point. A bonus of 3 points if you spotted 4. Qe2 Qe7 5. Nd4 Qe5! 6.Nb5 when in the game Eley - Coates Correspondence 1977, Black could have lost beautifully by 6...c6!! 7.d4 Qb5 8. Qe4
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| 4. Ne5 |
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Move coming up!
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4...Nf6 0 points. 1 point for Nc6 and h6 which, though effective, lack style. 2 points for d5 (Analysis by J. Moore).
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5. Be2?
This is good. White must careful not to make obvious moves since he could easily drift into a better position.
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Move coming up!
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5...Be7!! 6 points. This move attributed to Gunderham is by far the worst. One can always rely on the German Theorist's analysis to relieve you of material. 4 points for 5...d6 6.Bh5. 4 points for 5...d6 6.Bh5 Kf8. 3 points for 5...h5 donating g6 to a worthy cause. |
| 6. Bh5+ |
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Move coming up!
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6...Kf8 1 point. 6...Nxh5 7.Qxh5 g6 is worth 4 points.
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| 7. Nf7 |
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| 7... Qe8 8. Nxh8 Qxh5 (Povah's 8...Qe8 is worthy of attention (sic! - Blog note: they surely meant 8...Qd8!!) ). |
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| 9.Qxh5 Nxh5 |
White has to play very accurately by weakening his Kingside pawns; often a good plan if you can't think of anything else to do.
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| 10. g4! |
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Move coming up!
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10...Nf6 1 point. 10...Nf4 11.d3 earns 1 point. |
| 11. g5 |
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Move coming up!
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11...Nd5 Minus 2 points for 11...Ng8 since it controls h6 (see later)
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| 12. g6 h6 |
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| 13. Nc3 |
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Move coming up!
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11...Nxc3 4 points - logical play. Black makes three consecutive moves with his Knight in order to exchange it. 2 point for 12...Nb4 and double your score if you contemplated (even vaguely) the line 13. Ne4 Nxc2+ 14. Kd1 Nxa1 with an equal position.  |
| 14. dxc3 |
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Move coming up!
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14...d6 2 points but only if you intended 15...Bf5 and Bg6 missing h4 by White. |
| 15. h4 |
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Move coming up!
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15...Bxf5 0 points. Black has some difficulties stemming from having two Bishops. If he places his pawns on black squares with the Bishop inside the pawn chain, then exchanges the good white square Bishop for the Knight, both players can go down the pub. If you forgot that Rooks can jump over pawns on days ending in 'y' and had missed Rxh8, give yourself 4 points and kick yourself on the left ear. |
| 16. h5 |
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Move coming up!
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16...Nc6 1 point. Nd7 threatening Nf6 and Bg4 is too good. Deduct 3 points if you are worried about 17. Nxh6 (sic! - Blog note: is this a mistake in the original - it would have to be 18. Nxh6 etc, and thus maybe should be in the next comment - or is it just too surreal for words? We leave it for you to judge). |
| 17. Nf7 |
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Move coming up!
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17...a5!!! 7 points. It is important to weaken the Queenside pawns. 3 points if tried Be6, Nd8 or Ne5 to exchange the White Knight.
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| 18. Be3 |
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Move coming up!
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18...Bg4 3 points - keeping the White King in the centre for the ending.
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| 19. Kd2 |
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Move coming up!
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19...a4! 4 points. The threat is a3 to double White's pawns.
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| 20. Rag1 |
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| 20...Bf3 21. Rh3 |
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| 21...Ra5 Illogical play by Black but tempting White into a winning trap. 22. Bxh6?? This is why 11...Ng8 is unclear since on g8 it would control h6. |
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Move coming up!
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22...Bxh5 1 point. 5 points for 22...gxh6 23. g7 Kg8 24 Nh6 and it's pub time. 3 points for Resigns which would be bad etiquette; real professional Patzers get mated.
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| 23. Bg5 Be3 is too good. Now White is in complete control and plays in style. |
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Move coming up!
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23...Bxg6? 1 point. Again Black misses the elegant finish 23...Bf3 24. Rh8 mate for which award yourself 2 points.
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| 24. Nd8!! Good play by White, misplacing the Knight. |
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Move coming up!
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24...Bxg5 0 points. The winning move - Black simply throws away his lost game and almost any other move deserves points. 3 points for any move that allows Rh8 mate. 1 point for Ke8 allowing 25. Nxc6
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| 25. Rxg5 |
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Move coming up!
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25...Ne5 Careless play by Black 0 points. Rxg5 is more in keeping with the needs of the position. 1 point.
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| 26. Ne6+ |
26...Kf7 26...Ke7 27. Ng7 Kf6 is too strong
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| 27. Nd8+!! Pointless play by White |
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Move coming up!
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27...Ke7 0 points. 27...Kf8! 2 points. Draw Agreed.
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| 28. Rxg6 |
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28...Nxg6 29 Rg3 White's last few moves have given him a strong disadvantage. 29. Nb7 is preferable.
29...Kf6 Black's game is now in it's (sic!) last throes. Carried away by the spirit of the game however White now perceives a spectacular finish.
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| 29...Kf6 From now on award yourself points if you guess his (i.e. White's) incredible plan! - - - - - - - Guess the WHITE move coming up! - - - - |
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| 30...d5 Black has no answer to White's play |
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White move coming up!
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31. Kd4!!! 5 points - a very pretty move |
| 31...Ne7 |
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White move coming up!
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32. Rh3 2 points - avoiding the fork.
Come back for more Knightmare!s in two weeks time; and if you are having Knightmare!s of your own, share your pain in the comments box.
Knightmare! Scenarios: 1. Chess in a Time of Letraset
The Blog's History Index is here - from which you can navigate to later episodes in this series.
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| 32...Nf5 mate |
Come back for more Knightmare!s in two weeks time; and if you are having Knightmare!s of your own, share your pain in the comments box.
Knightmare! Scenarios: 1. Chess in a Time of Letraset
The Blog's History Index is here - from which you can navigate to later episodes in this series.
1 comment:
Bit disappointed the game ends when it did.
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