Given only one person really bothered, this will merely be a rundown of some of Matt Fletcher's best, with a few of mine thrown in for the craic. Incidentally, in case you were wondering, this particular individual is not the famous MattF from ICC.
NONSEXUAL KARATE KID - Alexandra Kosteniuk
PENIS VALVE TOOL - Veselin Topalov
TANKER ANALOGY - Kateryna Lagno*
IDLE PERVERTS - Peter Svidler
OMINOUS LARVA PORN - Ruslan Ponomariov
Some bonus bits
O'HANRAHAN'S EX-CLERK DEE - Alexander Areshchenko
Not this guy
MUCKY NUN ZAHA - Anna Muzychuk
Not this guy either
* I've no idea when she changed her surname from Lahno.