Sunday, August 05, 2007

D (cup) List Celebrity and a Memory

I have, dear readers, a regular Sunday hobby I don’t usually talk about too much. No, it’s not charriddee work.

At some point every Sunday I make my way to a newsagents to peruse the front pages of the tabloids. I don’t actually pick them up mind – I wouldn’t want to stain my fingers either literally or metaphorically – I just look to see what they think is the most important news of the day. OK, it's not something of which I'm particularly proud but as dark shameful vices go it’s got nothing on Chris Langham’s I think you'll agree.

Today, I can tell you, the Sunday People have chosen to use their most prominent story to accuse Kerry Katona’s current beau of only staying with her for the money. Now for those of you who prefer EJH’s erudite deconstructions of Ingmar Bergman films, Ms. Katona is a former member of a formerly popular ‘girl band’ (why are groups of people who do nothing but sing now called bands rather than choirs? I shall let the matter rest for now) Atomic Kitten. Suffice to say Ms. Katona is now famous for nothing more than:-

1. her ample frontage;
2. her ability to remain in the news despite an absence of any discernable talent whatsoever (well other than the above).

So Mark Croft's interest in the two-time Celebrity Mother of the Year (no, there really is such a 'title'. The Queen came fourth the last time Kerry won it) is purely cash related? To seasoned Kerry K watchers this will hardly qualify as a news sensation. Indeed were I to have taken further leave of my senses and actually opened the alleged newspaper I fully expect I'd have found follow up scoops on the Pope being catholic and the locations where bears most like to take a dump.

If you’ve stayed with me so far, and frankly I doubt that very much indeed, I’m rather suspecting you’re wondering why the hell this is appearing on the S&BCC blog. Well, firstly it’s already gone tea time and nobody else has stepped up to the plate as yet, and secondly in the Roschach Inkblot Test that is my brain when I don’t give it something constructive to get on with, the Kerry Katona headline reminded me of an incident that happened to me a couple of years back.

I was starting a new job and was introduced to a woman who was to become one of my work colleagues for the next few months (I’ve never been very good at holding down long term employment). We were going through the usual getting to know you formalities and she asked me some variation of the ‘Do you have any hobbies?’ question.

“I like chess", I replied, at which she looked at me rather strangely and went quiet for a moment.

Now I am, of course, totally used to rampant apathy as a response to an expression of interest in the game of kings/under-socialised geeks but outright hostility was something new to me. My confusion was eased just a few seconds later, however, when it became clear she’d thought I’d said, “I like chests”.

At the time I was happy to set the record straight although subsequently I’ve often wondered which in reality is less socially acceptable as a pastime.

Hmm. Tabloid Combing and now 500+ words on a topic somewhat less substantial than an ice cream left out on this hot summer’s afternoon. In the ‘having a life’ stakes I fear I may not be achieving my full potential.

Hey ho. Enjoy the sun everybody.


Tom Chivers said...

I thought we were going to find Ms Katona played chess or something! Is she the awful ones from the Iceland adverts?

Anonymous said...

That would be our Kerry. Although I'm not sure if she's still doing them.

Tom Chivers said...

Good; I for one find her excruciating.

Anonymous said...

Sun??? I am in the Shetland Islands atm. What sun?

ejh said...

When I won the DHSS chess championship many years ago (about 1991) the representative of the Scottish region was a Visiting Officer in the Shetlands. He told me how he had to do his job in an aeroplane - and they would often have to make two approaches, as the first one would be just to scare the sheep so they ran off the landing strip.